they say it’s a virtue June 26, 2008

I got a letter from my Dr’s office yesterday telling me that they had my bloodwork results, and they would like me to schedule an appointment to discuss them.  When I called this morning, they said they can’t get me in until Tuesday, for which the wait just might drive me slightly insane.  I now think I might have ovulated the day before bloodwork, so if that’s the case I’m not sure there will be enough progesterone in my system to register.

In a curious turn of events, I’ve always had the same four PMS symptoms: cramps, diarrhea, headaches, and irritability.  The past few days (when I should’ve started PMSing based on possible ovulation), I’ve had cramps and irritability, but no diarrhea or headaches.  Instead, I’m constipated, weepy, starving, and have insomnia that seems to be making me exhausted.  I’m peeing every hour, and I’m about to cut off my boobs because I’m pretty sure they’ll hurt less that way.

When I peed on the stick this morning (11dpo), it was negative.  I will keep peeing on sticks until something changes.  And I’ll let you know what happens Tuesday, if nothing happens otherwise before then.

mind-numbing June 24, 2008

I often think about how busy my life is.  But then I realize that I might as well live in a prison, because that’s just about as busy as I am.  I work a little, I eat a little, I read a little.  Mostly I sit around doing nothing.  When I’m deciding whether I want to shower in the morning or evening, it’s a predicament not because I’m so busy, but because I’m NOT busy at all, and can really take one whenever I want.  But I feel like my life is busy.  And I realize that when we’re blessed with kids, we’ll feel like we have to invent a new word for busy.

So yes, I’ve been busy.  I work 40 hours a week exactly, no more than that; except yesterday afternoon that I took off to do laundry.  Yes, I’ve been known to use vacation time to do laundry.  I told you I was busy.  My husband almost always cooks dinner, and he does the grocery shopping.  Our goal is to spend Sunday mornings cleaning the apartment, which we do together if it gets done at all.  We never make our bed, he does his own laundry, and he takes out the recycling and the garbage and empties the cat litter pan.  He also works 10-12 hour days, 5 days a week.  He goes to bed at 10pm and wakes at 4am, whereas I go to bed at 10 or 11 and wake at a leisurely 7:30.

In writing all this, I’m realizing that maybe he’s the busy one, and I’m the lazy one.  I spend my free time watching tv, reading, and playing computer games (I’m kind of a dork).  He spends his free time watching tv, surfing around online, and playing video games.  We have what just might be the most boring life ever.  And we love it.

So when we have weekends like the past two, which all told included 3 high school graduations, 2 graduation parties, a Father’s Day breakfast, a doctor’s appointment, and a dinner party for my in-laws in our apartment, we feel a little hectic.

In other news, I did get blood work done last Monday, and am now cautiously awaiting the results.  I have no idea what to expect.  I’ve placed bets in Vegas on PCOS, hypothyroid, prolactinemia (sp?), and “unexplained” as all being options.  I figure I have my bases covered, and if it’s something else entirely, such as premature ovarian failure, I’m screwed anyways so what do I need the extra money for?  I’ll update when I get the news, which had damned well better be before the end of the week.

What next? June 10, 2008

In late December, I told my husband I was going off birth control pills, in an attempt to regulate my body before we starting trying.  I started charting my temps in an effort to learn my body.  In that time, I’ve ovulated once, maybe twice.  Or maybe not at all.  My first “cycle” was over 80 days, finally ended by Provera.  My second “cycle,” where I’m pretty sure I ovulated (on day 13), was finally ended with Provera after 55 days.  I’m on cycle 3, and might have ovulated over the weekend, but I’m not sure.  I’m having blood work done on Monday to check my progesterone and other hormone levels, and I have no idea what to expect.

My Mom was told at 19 that she was infertile, because of what has now been determined to be Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS).  I was a fluke pregnancy, and after I was born my Mom tried Clomid and other drugs to have another baby, to no avail.  My brother was another fluke pregnancy, 7 years after me.

I worry that I have PCOS, because it can be hereditary, and because I have a few symptoms, such as being overweight.  But I feel a little better knowing that I could take Metformin and might have some hope.  I guess if the blood work finds that I’m not ovulating, the next step might be Provera again and then day 3 blood work?  I have no idea.  We’re not even trying to get pregnant quite yet, but I’m glad that we’re at least getting a head start on what might be a long process.

Hello. June 9, 2008

So lately I’ve taken up the hobby of blog-reading.  I love them.  It’s like reading a good book, but you can go back and check on the characters from time to time.  I started with alittlepregnant (found by googling TTC blog), moved to Julia, and then to flotsam.  I start at the beginning, and read voraciously until I catch up to current events, adding them to my bookmarked daily check list.

Obviously, I’m attracted to the blogs of women who are trying to conceive after an infertility diagnosis.  My husband and I will soon be trying to get pregnant and so I thought, why not add another voice to the already packed world of fertility blogs?

How about a little game of “40 Things?”

1. My name is Amanda.
2. I’m 27.
3. I was born in Japan.
4. I am not Japanese.
5. My brother was born in Germany.
6. He is not German.
7. My brother and I are 8 years apart.
8. My parents have been married for 30 years.
9. My Dad was in the Air Force for 20 years.
10. From preschool to college, I attended 12 different schools.
11. My first job was at McDonald’s.
12. It sucked.
13. I studied English for 4 years at a state school.
14. I never got my degree.
15. My husband’s name is Paul.
16. I met him in June 2003.
17. We got married September 15, 2007.
18. My brother was my Man of Honor.
19. I live in New England.
20. I work at a printing company.
21. We print magazines and medical journals.
22. I’m in customer service.
23. I’ve always worked in customer service.
24. I hate customers.
25. In fact, I can’t stand most people.
26. Except babies.
27. I love babies.
28. I think I got baby fever when I started puberty.
29. I’ve been pregnant once, in college.
30. I’ve miscarried once, at 6 weeks.
31. I’ve been off birth control since December.
32. I’ve ovulated once since January.
33. Paul and I will start “trying” in September.
34. Paul doesn’t really care for babies.
35. Paul loves kids, though.
36. He thinks the world is overpopulated.
37. He thinks each couple should only have 1 or 2 kids (if any at all).
38. I’d love to have 4 kids.
39. We’ve settled on 2 (hopefully).
40. My biggest fear is infertility.