I really can’t stand my co-worker. I really, really can’t.
At my company, in my department, we work in teams of two. That way, if someone’s sick or on vacation, there’s always someone else who knows the accounts and the customers. My teammate is about two years from retirement, has been with the company for over 20 years, and is under the impression that she never, ever does anything wrong.
I do things wrong. I’ve only worked here for 4 years, and it’s a complicated job with a lot to remember. I’ve been working with this woman (let’s call her M) for about a year, and she was a culture shock. The woman I worked with before was laid back, made mistakes, and was able to laugh about them. I like that. M acts as though she never makes mistakes. And if she does, she beats herself up over them, saying things like “I want to go bang my head against a brick wall” or “I can’t believe I was that stupid.” When I make a mistake, I say “Oops, I’ll try not to do that again” or “Wow, that was pretty silly of me, wasn’t it?”
When I make a mistake or forget to do something, she uses phrases like “In the future, you need to…” or “FYI…” or “That’s not the way I do it.” It’s enough to make me scream (or cry). And when I hear it at least once a day, you’d think I’d try to make fewer mistakes, but instead it just makes me shut down, causing more mistakes.
M has always been this way. I have several other coworkers who’ve teamed with M in the past, and they commiserate with me and insist that she’s always been this way, and no matter how much you complain to her or the supervisor or manager about her, she never changes. I actually haven’t complained too much, because I know she’s not going to change. I guess I feel like, if I complain just a little, at least they’ll know that she’s still doing it, and that it’s still not okay.
The past week or so (since the “diagnosis”), I’ve been distracted at work, and rightfully so. My head just isn’t here. I also have a few special projections that I’ve been working on, and I think she resents that I have work to do that doesn’t involve her; that I’m not at her beck and call to do whatever she tells me all the time. But I know that she would actually prefer to work by herself all the time, because it would make her more of a martyr. To prove my point, just a little while ago she said “Is there any reason why you failed to do blah blah blah? You really need to remember to do that in the future. You should know better.”
She’s just mean. And I’m sensitive lately. Cut me some slack, lady.
