Monday is our first wedding anniversary. Next Monday will mark us being together for 5 years. It seems absolutely crazy to me that we’ve been together this amount of time. On the one hand, it seems like the wedding was last month (okay, maybe the month before). On the other hand, it’s like we’ve been together for 20 years.
Last night we were driving home from the grocery store, and I asked him what a certain note was in a song, because I could not for the life of me hit that note. But then I was singing along, softly and with incredible self-awareness. I knew he was listening to me, and when it came to a part that I was unsure if I could pull off, I would hum instead. I grew up thinking I was tone-deaf, and only recently have I realized that I’m not; instead I have a limited range and absolutely no musical training. He asked me if I would be able to sing those parts in front of my mom. I told him no, I could barely sing anything in front of my mom, and definitely not in front of my dad. So then, we got on the topic of what I could do (or say) in my parent’s presence, as opposed to in front on Paul. It turns out, I can do 97% of things in front of Paul, and only about 83% of things in front of my folks. I spent the first 25 years of my life** living with my parents. I’ve only been living with Paul for about 3 years. And yet, I know there is no judgment with Paul. My parent’s may always love me unconditionally, but that doesn’t mean they don’t judge me. Oh yes, they do judge, constantly and without restraint. In fact, I’m pretty sure that no one is more judged than by one’s own parents. I think that, no matter how much you just want them to be happy, however that comes, it’s so hard to not have expectations that will inevitably be shattered.
Anyways, this post was intended to be about my husband, not my parents. My point was that I am almost 100% me with my husband, and it’s a very liberating feeling. I like me, and I’m glad he does too.
So Paul and I are going away this weekend, to a beach in Maine, where it is forecasted to rain for days on end. It’s a good thing we splurged on the deluxe room complete with 2-person Jacuzzi and gas fireplace, because I’m not sure we’ll be getting to the beach, or the mini-golf, or any of the other things we love doing when we’re in Maine. In fact, we’re staying at the same hotel, in the same room as we spent our honeymoon. I have fond memories of sitting on that bed, opening wedding cards, drinking sparkling cider and eating Pringles, and watching South Park. Yeah, that’s what we did on our wedding night. Is that not normal?
* it was a high C
** excluding 4 years of college, during the week
